I had to say it

I am afraid of you.

Yes, you reading this.

You scare me.

But you didn't come here to read about my fears, did you?

 

The truth is, We all fear the fact that we are the future.

soon enough, the world will be sitting in our hands.

and that scares us all.

But you don't want fear, you want inspiration.

 

I am scared you won't remember me

and I am even more afraid that you will.

But I don't think you really care.

 

I scare myself.

but I am so tired of being scared. so lets dare to let it hurt

Let's try and keep our hands in our pockets a little longer.

But that is far too scary.

 

Fear has always controlled my life.

and yours.

Fear has always had it's hands around my neck.

and yours.

I can't be the only one who looks up into the sky and fears something more, or that I will never see your eyes again, or that I won't fall in love.

But you're just trying to feel something.

 

I am afraid of my heart.

but The blood that runs through it scares us even more.

And I am so scared of being forgotten, of being insignificant, of being oblivious.

but you're just scared of being average.

 

you didn't come to read about fears.

But I had to say it.

 

endings and beginnings, I'm scared.

 

 

 

16. 17. 18

16.

sixteen was like bad Fridays and good Mondays.

Like rooftops and night skies.

Like an upside down spiral stair case.

sixteen was like playing a never ending game of checkers and always

losing.

losing.

losing.

Like first dates and first kisses.

Like fireworks in the middle of July.

Like long drives and short sentences.

sixteen was like trying to paint with a shaking hand.

Like looking for something in the wrong place.

Like hugging darkness.

sixteen was like living in fast forward

sixteen is gone.

 

 



 



 



 

 

 

17.

seventeen is like you, me, and the moon light

Like swimming through an ocean of priorities.

    Like getting no sleep and finding new places.

Like giving up.

again.

and again.

seventeen is like becoming someone other than yourself.

Like being stuck in that annoying state of confusion.

seventeen is like listening to Christmas music in august.

Like feeling free.

Like getting cold feet.

seventeen is like a little more imagination and a little less determination.

Like a scar of reality.

seventeen is like waiting for eighteen.

 

 

 

18.

eighteen will be like making life decisions before you know who you are.

Like a new religion waiting to be heard.

hear me.

eighteen will be like feeling limitless.

Like having nothing holding you back.

Like killing.

eighteen will be like standing with your feet in a river and your head in the clouds.

eighteen will be like forgetting seventeen.

Like trying to find a void to fill your empty heart

Like trying to find coins to fill your empty pockets.

eighteen will be like realizing you aren't that girl anymore.

Like realizing you have to grow up, but refusing.

eighteen will be like holding on.

 

But age is just a number.

 

- 

 



how to run (away)

"Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influence of the earth."

1. Choose a destination. (warmer or colder? further or closer?) or don't.
2. Mentally prepare yourself. (Commit to running away & look up 'adventure' on tumblr. Sleep outside.)
3. Leave a note. (You don't want to people to think you've gone missing.)
4. Pack the essentials. (Headphones and some cash. maybe.)
5. Turn your car into a living space (Pillows and blankets are recommended.)
6. Bring a notebook. (this all must be documented. and Running away is asking for a poem. )
7. Detach. ( You can't have anything holding you back. don't let anything hold you back.)
8. Get lost. ( Sometimes getting lost helps you to find yourself. )
9. Take pictures. ( And lots of them. Memories don't last forever. )
10. be cultured. ( don't be judgmental. it won't work. )
11. Live. ( hike, Scream, Be free, See, Listen, Wander, Kill, Love, Cry, Swim. ) Live.


But, You better do It soon, because running away quickly just becomes a vacation.
And You will have too many things holding you back.
So run.



Our future is in the clouds

Next year we Are all going to leave.
We all know its true.

I hear the words in the halls about applying for this and that college.

You're going to be sterling scholar.
Our high school youth will die with our small hands.

We are all going to leave and the only thing left of us will be whispers.

She has places to go and you have people you want to be.

I am sitting beneath a big tree staring into the sky wondering where I will go when I leave.

I am frightened, even terrified.

but We are all still going to leave.
and I'm going to miss it.
 

 

Decisions have to be made now and applications have to be sent asap.

Paris will only be a memory.

I'm begging it to stay, but the clock keeps ticking.

Time keeps disappearing.

We will soon be gone.

 

 

 

Now, High school Heartbreaks aren't as important as your future.

And if you don't know what you want to be, You're damned.

 

I am standing in the middle of a highway full of decisions.

Headlights blind my mind.

Everyone else knows where they are going, but I am in the middle still not sure which way to turn.

We all pretend the future isn't so close.

But it is right under our noses.

 

Keep your heart close.

 

 It is too late to die young.

 

 

 

 

Complaints

Thunder storms need to be longer.

People need to be nicer.

Old people need to live longer.

Music needs to be louder.

Women need more freedom

I need more friends.

Trees need to be taller.

Summers need to be longer.

School needs to be shorter.

The stars need to be closer. 

Car rides need to be more romantic.

Bikes need to be used more.

Forests need to be bigger.

Roofs need to be shorter.

Albums need more songs.

Life needs more lemons.

New York needs to be closer.

Love needs to be louder.

Homosexuality needs to be accepted.

Clothes don't need to define you.

Phones need to be smaller.

The world needs to get along.

Life needs to be easier.

Anything else?